would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
