he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
