hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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