fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
