yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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