i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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