ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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