Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
