after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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