Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Can I color on your dick again?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
