I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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