i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
