she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
