I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
