But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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