I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
