Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
