I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
