i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
