found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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