I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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