yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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