he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Life is so much better after having sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
