just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
