I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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