I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
