those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
