just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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