Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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