I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
