i don't like sucking hair
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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