I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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