Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We need to get me chipped asap
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
