you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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