I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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