she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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