Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
