Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
