But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
