I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
