my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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