Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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