I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
