i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
