this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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