fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
