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I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
