So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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