ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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