I just cut my nipple shaving
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
two words...techno handjob
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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