time to smoke my breakfast
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
