Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
