Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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