why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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