Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
