Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
