you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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