he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
