either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize