Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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