I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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