she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
accomplished twins. life is a go
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
