Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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