don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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