He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
