i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
