Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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