she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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