Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
