You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
