You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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