So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
