if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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