This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
