the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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