she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
