Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
