I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
