I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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