Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
