with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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