Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
